Be The Tortoise

Photo by Leo Reynolds

I recently watched this TED talk by Joachim de Posada discussing how the ability to delay gratification can be an indicator of future success.  The study involved kids and marshmallows.  The kids were given a marshmallow and told that if they waited 15 minutes, they could have another one but if they ate it before the 15 minutes were up, they would only get the one marshmallow.  The study checked back with the kids a number of years later and found that 100% of the children who were able to last the 15 minutes without eating the marshmallow were happy and successful.  The same wasn’t true for the kids who ate the marshmallow.  This got me thinking about what I see going on around me.  So many people aren’t willing to delay gratification to see a project or business through to a successful conclusion.  I’ll admit that I have a huge problem with patience.  I would have been one of the kids who ate the marshmallow.  Totally.  I wouldn’t have lasted even one minute.  Needless to say, I have struggled with “staying the course” on a lot of projects and gotten insanely bored by many of the jobs I have held.  I have self-diagnosed ADD.  Whether or not I actually have ADD is up for debate and honestly, I think a lot of what people call attention deficit disorder is simply a mismatch of ability and/or interest.  Writing a book or more importantly finishing writing a book this past year was a huge accomplishment for me this past year.  I have no fewer than 10 unfinished book projects on my computer.  I highly recommend co-writing a book with someone if you can.  It made all the difference.  When you set out to write a book, it sounds like more fun than it actually is.  So much of writing is actually re-writing. It’s tedious to say the least. But, back to the point of this post…

I recently heard Gary Vaynerchuk speak about his new book and how long it took him to get where he is today.  The answer: it didn’t happen overnight.  He said a lot of people come up to him and ask what they can do to start making big money right away.  He said that typically these people have had a blog or been in business maybe six months to a year.  I would hazard that a large percentage of these people may give up on whatever it is they are doing before they see any major success because they don’t have the patience to wait for the payoff.

So how can you be the tortoise and not the hare?  Here are some suggestions:

• Assuming you are doing something you enjoy (a blog, business venture, non-profit, etc) which is kind of a prerequisite in my mind, set some long-term goals.  Start with 12 months, two years and then jump to five years.  You need to have a long-term vision in order to get there.  Set some benchmarks in between to make sure you are moving forward.  Little successes are important, too.
• Don’t judge your success by others who appear to have been successful quickly.  Chances are, that’s not the case.  They were probably working on their idea/business for a long time.
• Focus. Don’t try to be all things to all people.  If you make purple widgets you could probably offer yellow or orange widgets.  That’s still in your wheelhouse.  But, don’t start making video games just because that sounds like fun. Stick with what you know.  Become the expert in your field.  Be synonymous with purple widgets.
• Reward yourself for doing the grunt work.  Most people don’t like bookkeeping or filing.  You may not enjoy traveling and being away from your family.  But, these things are necessary to keep the foundation of your venture stable.  So, reward yourself for doing these things.  It doesn’t have to be expensive or even cost money.  Just figure out something to do for yourself that is directly tied to accomplishing the boring and tedious tasks of whatever it is you are doing.

Delayed gratification is a difficult concept for most of us.  After all, 2 out of the 3 kids ate the marshmallow.  What that says is that most of us are wired in such a way that we’d rather have what is right in front of us than wait for a larger reward.  But, the payoff can be so much bigger and what I’m seeing is that it’s worth having the discipline to keep chugging along rather than trying to sprint ahead and potentially burn out or miss the rewards that come with slow, steady effort.

So, whichever metaphor works for you.  Don’t eat the marshmallow or be the tortoise.  Just keep going.

Tagged as: ADD, be the tortoise, don't eat the marshmallow, goals, patience, tortoise and hare